now don't you wish your boyfriend was soft like me
with a bachelor of arts from trinity
with a notable lack of virility
and a body comprable to an infant tree
now don't you wish your boyfriend was in a band
the rhythm guitarist, not the leading man
with a near mastery of the chromatic scale
that's right, it's me, i'm the ideal male

check out my bleached dungarees and my tucked in tees
all the bitches wanna know about my ironic moustache
skin white as alabaster, got a fender stratocaster
all the bitches wanna know about my ironic moustache
sincere as a senator, secret sexual predator
all the bitches wanna know about my ironic moustache
submit my essay overdue and be dead chuffed with my 2:2
all the bitches wanna know about my ironic moustache

oh my god i just love your tola vintage, boojum, prazsky, fuck boy vibes

thanks babe, i'm so glad you swiped right
allow me to impress you with the poetry i write
i lack interest in things i don't personally indite
will i let you get a word in? yeah i might
i'm like mac demarco with a bit more gangle
my solo bedroom outfit's jizz jazz bespangled
i make dream pop but with a bit more jangle
here's a photo i took from the elusive dutch angle
(the composition, the colours, it really moves me
your life is just like a wes anderson movie)
the pain of being an artist is that i'm always seeking beauty
and the pain of being a fuckboy is that i'm always seeking booty